That cute girl!

Within the ruckus of the metro I barely managed to grab a seat, tired of the journey my state of mind was really of the type, "Leave me alone, with me and my songs".

Metro for me is a journey to understand how the generation is changing and how people are slowing shifting from social random interaction
 to the technical monotony.
Well I was one of the crowd so lets let it be for now, now the surprising element in the metro for me is no matter how many times I try not to sit on any of the reserved seats so that my bums can rest a bit longer than usual, it happens to be that the oldest of the generation of humanity somehow manages to stand right in front of me. This time it was an aged uncle. I was in the dilemma whether to offer him the seat or not give a damn and let my posterior a bit more leisure, but then i looked at him to judge the level of agedness, wrinkles were there, hair was white and the back was bent plus his eyes were on me, pity flooded in me, I got up, gave him the seat, but there was no sign of gratitude rather there was remorse in him as if he wished to ask what took u so long?
I stood for like 15 minutes, again got a seat. I wished god to not send anyone to interfere my weary day and no more elderly people mess with me.
But god has his own ways to poke me.This time it was a mother and a kid in front of me. I looked at the mother and sighed that she was young, but they both seemed tired so i made some space for her little daughter, I managed to show humanity and a bit of selfish ness at same time and I was at peace now listening to songs.
A very sweet voice unexpectedly came piercing my peace, it said, "Aapka naam kya hai bhaiya?"
In the history of 5 years of my travelling in the metro I have never been approaced by a person other than for asking the way to so and so station, it was this little girl next to me that said aapka naam kya hai bhaiya? I just fell in love with that stranger. I let go of the earpiece and switched the songs off and told her Puneet is my name..whats yours? She wouldn't stop there, a line up of questions followed, i asked what class she studied in, she counted her fingers for a bit longer and replied first, people looking at us, who could shockingly listen( I thought maybe technology got there attention more than the girls cuteness) were laughing. Not one not two the whole cabin filled with smiles and awed at her cuteness. I further asked her where she was coming from? She said my nana is at hospital na..we went to make him happy. For a moment it struck me that if this little girl can have a such a perspective about a serious issue why do we dwell in sadness for petty things, starting from the silly me. We continued the conversation and her replies made us all laugh out loud. Strangely enough the 15 stations in between my destiny went in a wink. I wished her good bye, smiled and waved at her...and then she says...itni jaldi mat jao bhaiya...hame 2 station baad utarna hai...waha jaana...
The connection was stronger now and my weary day was now filled with a silly smile .
I learnt that yes the work is important...yes the songs are soothing...but that little girl and one conversation made my day as no song or no tech could ever do.
Have random coversation and spread smiles...
And yes...I travelled two extra stations...only to spend a little more time with the little angel.

Loneliness

He is all alone in this lifeless land,

He moaned and moaned for a caring hand.

He prayed to wish for those days far gone,

He stayed too long where he didn't belong.

He thinks a lot, wants to laugh it out.

But tears find their way somehow.

He wishes a lot, wants to express it out.

But the feelings fell in a crack somehow.

He talks alone, he walks alone,

He weeps alone, he laughs alone.

He sits alone on this weary day,

And waits like none..maybe someone will come.

He thinks of what will people say,

He craves for that sweet little 'hey!'

But no one comes at this mayday

The soul has worn and the shadows stay

His mind will burst and his heart will thirst

For the heat of love has turned him to dust

The smiles went dwarf and sorrows grew tall

it's a blink it takes, and the tears will fall.

He ditched his soul for it wasn't his part,

He stitched his heart for it was ripping apart.

He screamed aloud, but no one heard,

He drowned away unsaid unheard.

Hence he walks with resisting legs,

and hence he talks to the sulking walls.

For all he wants is laugh and fly

But all he does is weep and crawl.

ये दुनिया का चक्र है प्यारे!

"अरे भैया! जगह दो यार, ट्रैन ना हुआ कुंभ का मेला हो गया, हटिये ज़रा "
With endless similar dialogues fighting and panting through the ruckus of a train I came to my seat, it felt like the peak of Everest.
but wait..someones sleeping on the peak...
"ओ भाई मेरी सीट है, उठो चलो, वैसे भी दिल्ली आ गया, यहाँ तो अच्छे अच्छे उठ जाते हैं "
A sleeping beauty who had conquered my seat had to forcefully get up and smile at me while cursing me from within, to destroy his dreams of traveling with comfort.
After about an hour of adjustments and window peeping, my berth was intruded by a family. A big family. It was like a vegetable soup, with the following contents:
A big couple ( grand parents )
The young couple (parents) and
The teenagers.
They had a lot of luggage, Dada ji carried a big bag and was really struggling with it, dadi said "let me help" but male ego doesn't get old. Teenager carried a small bag too but technology in the other hand was way too heavy and required way too much attention than a panting Dada ji.
They all somehow managed to grab seats and luggage was placed
Teens jumped on to their seats.
Parents sat with content and
Old ones sat holding their knees...
Dadi said to one of the teens "मुन्ना पानी की बोतल निकाल  दे, प्यास लग रही है "
Munna who had worked so hard with the luggage was tired and of course, chatting took way too much effort, so declined the request saying, "मम्मी से मांग लो ना प्लीज "
The poor old lady was defeated by a 'please' and now turned with hope to her bahu, who was trying to hide her wrinkles using makeup, bahu said, "माजी! देखिये आपके पास ही तो है बैग, ले लीजिये उसी में से, प्लीज ". And 'Please!' won again. Dadi knew the bag was close enough but she also knew that bending down to the bag, stretching the arm and tensing the knee required effort, throat craved for water but age refused. "छोड़ो बाद में ही पी लुंगी!". None of the ears cared.
Dadaji took the bottle out, after struggling through the contents of the bag and his shivering hands..
Teens sunk into chatting, dad went busily attending calls, mom with make up and the old couple craved for attention. I knew they wanted someone to talk to, dadiji was sweet enough and asked me where I was from and where I was heading to, she told me how difficult it is to travel in trains and offered me laddoos.The entire journey the mom-dad slept, the teens did thumb exercise on the phone and the old couple talked to me, dadiji said something that struck me hard and I quote
"बेटा ज़िन्दगी में चाहे जितना आगे भड़ जाओ, जितनी तरक्की कर लो, जितना पैसा कमा लो, जब बुढ़ापे की लाठी पड़ती है तो यही ज़िन्दगी नरक बन जाती है, अकेलापन सहारा बन जाता है जब अपने साथ छोड़ देते हैं, अब हमें ही देख लो, जायदात बेटे की देख रेख में है , घर बहु की देख रेख में है, पोते हमारी देख रेख में हैं पर हम इनसे एक नज़र को तरस जाते हैं.
अब भूख लगे तो किस्से कहें जब प्यास ने नीयत परख ली है". She smiled and continued, "
ज़िन्दगी में कुछ ऐसा करो की कभी किसी पर निर्भर न रहना पड़े  और जो तुम पर निर्भर करे उसे कभी रोना न पड़े."
Munna intruded..."दादी भूख  लग रही है जोर से "
And the lady with a meek little face...said."आजा बेटा मैं  खिला दूँ "
Dada ji continued talking to me and said..."तुम जवान हो, नया नया खून है, आगे बहुत जिम्मेदारियां आएँगी, बहुत पैसा आएगा, लेकिन भूढ़े होते माँ बाप का ध्यान कर लेना! दुआ लगेगी।
हमारे पिताजी कहते थे :
"आज बुढापा अपना बोझा, कल तेरा भी होगा
ये दुनिया का चक्र है प्यारे आज जो तेरा हो चला है कल तेरा न होगा।
करले पिता की चाकरी, तू उठा ले माँ का बोझा
ये दुनिया का चक्कर है प्यारे, कल तू भी बुड्ढ़ा होगा।
तू बच्चे की देख रेख में माँ बाप भुला न देना,
ये दुनिया का चक्र है प्यारे,आज जो नीयम सीख रहा है उन्हें कल भुला न देना
अभी ज़िन्दगी हरी भरी है अभी तू ज़िंदा होगा
कल, सांस चलेगी जैसे तैसे, तू फिरभी मुर्दा होगा"
Hahaha he laughed.
His laugh mocked relief, his eyes shouted pain. I was in utter dilemma and just wanted to talk to my own parents, who i believe must have the same fear for their old age.
The next morning I called my mom and dad, who asked, " बेटा! कुछ खाया क्या?"

                                                                       A hostler's tale!

Transformation is one autonomous life-changer, you go way too ahead and turn back to realize that the ten-year-old you, was A and the 15-year-old you is Z. We change every day, some for better, some for worse. One such change, one such surprising transformation takes place after 12th, as soon as a person enters college and becomes a part of a hostel. ‘Parental guidance’, however irritating it may be initially but when you go onboard to such a ship of independent living, all those guidelines start making sense. The effects of hostel life are a mix of boon and bane. Let’s compare ourself. As a school going student we are bound to follow a routine i.e. WAKE up EARLY, BATH, BATH, BATH, go to school for a STIPULATED TIME, come back home and go to PLAY, have MILK and snacks, STUDY, have a BALANCED DIET, prepare the bag for next day and SLEEP ON TIME. Now, the blogger hasn’t gone mad with the caps lock key but wants to emphasize what all things stop to exist or are least taken care of when the same kid comes to a hostel. Now just re-focus on the capital words, they don’t make sense in a hostel.

Sleeping early is rather associated with a punishable offense or body ailment. The only person whom you may find awake at 6 would be the one who didn’t sleep all night or the one with gastro-intestinal issues. TIME gets a whole new meaning in college life. It now means ‘something that flies un-noticed and gets scolded like anything during exams for not existing before’. Hostel life is like a parallel world with higher levels of laziness, higher population of ignorant procrastinators, infinite fun and minimal awareness. We become intolerant gamers, nights become our day and days turn into nights unnoticed, books rot and mobiles and laptops blossom, bathing becomes a choice, in winters it’s a carefully planned mission. Health deserves to be ignored because it hides behind the excuse ‘This is the age when you can eat all stuff and the stomach won’t rebel’. I am a hostler too and I am most of what is mentioned here.

It’s sad to write all this and many might get offended but the truth is that this part of society that has gone totally cut off with the outer world survives on its own rules, no one teaches them the art of living without a governing hand.

When people return from home, there is a glow on the face, the skin seems fresh and the eyes sparkle. Let a month pass by, rotting starts, hair gets messy and complexion dims. Yellow gasping eyes that have been devoid of sleep ask attention and are surrounded by the darkness of technology. Cleanliness, orderliness are all nuisances that existed when mom was around.

Not all are the same and not one does it all but such practices that exist are like scratches on a car that the owner tried to save all his life. From the distant lands the car seems new, go close enough and you're far from true. Let's peek into the attitude:

Clutter everywhere, a stinky bin

It smells like hell but the deo works cool

This mess needs attention but I got plans

Let the weekend come, right now I don’t give a damn!

The books call me, "hey! I exist,

Boy o boy I am meant to be read".

The books can wait but the tech, cannot.

Let the exams come, right now I don’t give a damn!

They sent me with dreams and blessings on the head,

Now they call me for food or money or health.

They don’t get it dude, I am the busiest bee,

Let all go to hell, right now I don’t give a damn!

Wake up people!

A night to remember!

The room was still and two “committed students” did there one night stand for the exams next day. The biting of nails was all that was heard because they feared the next days’ exam but they were totally oblivious of the impending danger that lurked beneath one of them. Me, with an effort to tilt my head towards my roomie, who was inches apart sitting on the right had to take a 180 degree turn to right but had to stop at 70 degree. I stared in isolation at the 3^rd possible roommate we now had, who came to existence only when he met the domain of my eyes and there it was with its tentacles drifting apart, numerous legs walking haphazardly from beneath the bed of my innocent unaware roommate, who still thought that the life’s toughest task was staying awake for the night. I decided lets share the fear and I told him in the most soothing way that I could, “Buddy! There is a cockroach in our room” and I realized that fear is a relative term. His fear was taller stronger and sharper than mine.one cannot blame him as it wasn’t just a cockroach, it was a fear that re surfaced which was hidden behind the male ego that we tend to carry. It was the future anticipations that we had which ran a chill down our spine. The thought of the places that the creature could reach while we were sleeping were enough to get us sleepless.

The exam preparations were put on hold all possible lights were switched on. We were on our guard and the decision as to who would be the one to go after it was pending, I looked at my roomie with hope, but his eyes clearly said, “Don’t even think”. Here I was convincing myself that go for it, you just have to get alive out of this. The plan was to let the goose bumps shout and be heroic enough to initiate the search operation. Every corner called out to me, every crevice was thoroughly peeped into with a fear that maybe the roach will come out to crawl upon my face…but none happened. My roomie who seemed to be fully “paralysed” had enough tongue to suggest what places to look for.

Funny part is, a person tries to be as organized as he can but due to a miniature the room lost its charm. Beds were shaken, everything was put on the bed, noises were made at probable places and sudden shouts of fear filled the room when even a paper touched my leg, wearing slippers made me feel very safe quite unusually.

“He is not in the room”, verdict came from the “paralysed” person, hidden behind the covers, all corners and edges of the covers were forced beneath so that no entrance was available for that creature. Then a master mind thought popped in…I asked myself, “Where would I have hidden if I were a cockroach?” This parallelism brought great result.

There he was, in a pipe like structure that was kept in my room…thanks to the plumber. We exchanged looks and the batman-joker moment lasted a bit longer. But how to get the creature out? You tilt the pipe, it won’t budge, and you throw something at it you realize not to try aiming games ever. The combat continued…I wanted to take him alive…but things didn’t work out, we managed to contain him in a container bammm! I closed the lid.

The world rejoiced, violins were playing and the army, navy and air force all gaped at my bravery. There he was…but now it was turn to introduce this villain to our paralyzed friend. The kind of shouting's’ I received from him for mocking to throw it at him were phenomenal. I scared him until I was satisfied and then went out to give the roach its freedom. My heroic qualities applauded at me...it was like people from all the rooms will come out and stand amazed at my catch. I released him and came back to the room with a heart pumping less and a roomie shouting more. When we settled, an hour later this thought came to my mind which was so creepy …which I shared with my roomie as well, to again make the night sleep less again, It said

“What if it was just another cockroach that was in there for days and the real one is still somewhere beneath your bed or somewhere around…peace was forgotten and fear revived.”

Thumb to chat and toungue to talk

If my life is a multi-layered cake then this incident would be the small cute cherry put on the top of it. Imagine when you have waited for something like crazy and then find out you have to give it up. You've waited to eat a certain flavoured ice cream for like ages and when you finally have it in your hand, it slips and in a minute all those taste buds on your tongue go crazy and curse you for such a mishap. You wait for your much awaited trip and have to cancel it due to unintended rainfall...it feels yukkk...it feels like a cake with ginger churned on it, it feels like wearing a tuxedo and an insane driver designs it with muddy water and you are left there with a gaping mouth and then again a mosquito gets into it and you wish for potassium cyanide to help you get over with.

Something similar happened to me, even I felt like striking my head into a wall but later it turned out that it became such a memory that I am mentioning it here.

I went to my hometown and it was the last day of the vacation, I had to leave the same evening. In the day time all my cousins had decided to watch a movie, we all were super excited about the same. We wanted perfect conditions to watch the movie.

Preparations started, snacks and beverages were brought in, bedsheet was properly tugged in to the corners, water was kept in case of thirst crisis, these people were turning mad, if they could, they would even start building a bathroom within, so that there was no disturbance or long gap between the movie. One girl decided as to who sits where and 5 others fought with her and then it was finally decided people could sit wherever they wished to. Speakers were brought in, volume adjusted,  lights switched off and the door closed. With a click the movie started….shhhhhhhhhhhhhshhhhhhhshhhhh the cooker blared and mom shouted..to one of my cousin to have a look. An irritated cousin dared us all not to even touch the lappy before she comes, but excitement is partially deaf, we anyway saw further and when she came back we started it from the same place and in a moment we all were fully engaged. I was happy we were enjoying the last day that we had together. Then came a feeble thumping at the door..it was my one year old nephew who came in to play with us, his cuteness to his surprise was ignored and the meek little guy was handed over to his mother and was told not to disturb us.

To our great disappointment the little boy was here again. Ironically at all other times of the day we ran after him to kiss him but now when he wanted to be with us, we prioritized the movie more. He came, he irritated and he conquered our fun. He pulled someone's hair or bit someone's hand, we were limiting his childlike freedom by cuffing his hands and controlling his free behaviour...then out of unstoppable irritation one of my cousin slapped him on the face..bam and the sullenness dawned on us, we were all suddenly so sorry for that kid. His anxiety had vanished , his eyes gleamed with crystal like tears. Before he could burst out crying we all jumped at him made faces, brought new things and tried making him laugh...after endless efforts he smiled. And I literally wished god granted me a moment pausing button, cause that smile gave me a lesson for life and all others sitting there. What lesson could a child's smile give?  Well it made me rethink on what real joy was.. I now wanted to play with him, cuddle him and kiss his lovely chubby hands and cheeks. and was least interested in the movie and hence the decision was passed on.

The laptop was shut down, snacks were pulled, light was switched on and songs were put on speaker…we played with that little guy for very long and the amount of pleasure that boy gave us could not be compared to any movie made till date. The day went memorable and I realised…

Happiness comes manifolds by sharing. A movie would give each one, his/her own sense of pleasure. But by sharing with each other ,the joys get a new dimension.

So just plan a different day. Lets not use fake emoticons but express feelings.

lets not use thumbs to chat but tongues to talk...

And remember childhood is the best phase…if you are over with it try making someone else's better.

कुछ कहती है ये ज़िंदगी

कुछ कहती है ये ज़िंदगी

चल   रही  है  मद्धम  मद्धम, चहकती है ये ज़िंदगी 

नए फ़साने ओढ़ कर अब बहकती है ये  ज़िंदगी

फूलों की इन पंक्तियों  पे, इक भवरे सा मैं  बैठा हूँ

मेरे नन्हे हाथों पर सिमटती है ये ज़िन्दगी

संगम है नन्हे  सपनों का, पर कांटो पर ये है खड़ी

उम्मीदों के कवच में ही, अब पलती है ये ज़िंदगी

काजल सी काली रातों में टिमटिमाती हैं  खुशियाँ नयी

रंगों के इस जज़ीरे में अब ढ़लती  है ये ज़िंदगी

पापा  के कन्धों पर चढ़कर खिलखिलाता सा इक बचपन है

माँ के कोमल हाथों का वो स्वाद है ये ज़िंदगी .

बच्चों जैसे चीखती है, चिल्लाती है ये रूह मेरी

कीचड़ जैसे  इस दलदल  में अब  हस्ती है ये ज़िंदगी 

धड़कन की इजाज़त से, अब साँसे हामी भर्ती हैं

हर पहर करवट बदलूँ पर कटती नहीं है ज़िंदगी 

खोजता है तू  खजानों में, उन  सिमटे हुए मकानों में

भटकता है तू देस विदेश पर दुबकती रही ज़िंदगी 

कोना कोना छान लिया, आँखों से इस घमंडी ने

पर देखा न माँ  की आँखों को जहाँ बिलखती रही ज़िंदगी 

रिश्तों की नन्ही डोर है जो प्यार से  पिरोनी है

 कांटो की इस गोद में अब पलती है ये ज़िंदगी