A sPiDeR's WeB.

 Amalgamated love

(A Spider's web)

It's a thorn filled road, it's a scale less map.

    It's a cheerful hell, it's a gloomy heaven.

It's a lawless land we've entered in,

wish a peaceful life you may get mayhem.

All those colors turn vibrant, all those romantic movies which you thought were hypothetical and nonsensical, suddenly seem to make sense. When sudden smiles occupy that gloomy face remembering just one single person. When 7.5 billion people minus a special one, cannot give you the feeling that you feel when you are with her. When your mornings find purpose and your nights find a companion. That's when you know you are entering into a whole new world, which the dictionary names love and I name a feeling, better left untagged. There are a lot of speculations about what love actually is? People keep asking themselves, are they truly in love or they 'Think" it is so?

I believe, stop judging your feelings, stop naming them. 

I have now started to believe that the mere fact that there can truly exist someone, other than family who has that nerve for you ,that care for you. One who finds your company ecstatic and your thoughts interesting. That's when you are filled with an utter sense of responsibility, that's when choosing clothes becomes difficult, that's when smelling good becomes a priority, that's when you start feeling your heartbeat. 

It's said,  "When two people in love, look at each other, their heartbeat synchronizes". How easy is it to keep looking at someone and not getting bored? For those who have never been to such a feeling,it's all crap. It's like God. You either believe in him or not. For an atheist feelings like devotion and prayers are all a waste of time, but for someone who has known his existence and believes in it, god becomes everything.

Love is a perpetual feeling of  wanting to keep one special person to yourself , to possess them with high-security codes, to cry to keep them with a childlike stick-to-itiveness, to laugh with them, to cry with them, to slap them once and to be beaten blue later and enjoy the same. A person is churned into a totally different persona , you do things which you previously tagged as 'works of mad'. No matter how angry you get, no matter how many times you feel like getting away from it, you are just glued to it  and you cannot let her go so damn easily. You invest time, you invest your soul, you invest all you got to prosper it, to save it, to get the best out of it.

Also, love is not a barter system. You can never wish or ask for the same amount in return. Its all about how much you can give in, how much you have in stock. Those fights, those shouts, those disappointments, those jealousies, those walk away's  are all a part of it.It's a ROLLER COASTER ride buddy, enter at your own risk.

A glimpse of what exactly happens is,

• Rise and fall of heartbeat seems to be a constant thing, we start feeling alive.
• Waiting for a message for hours and not taking a second to reply it so that they don't fly away, 
• Praying to god to please change that online below her name to typing, wishing for the phone to vibrate with her name, fighting them to say that you will never talk to them and then  you realize you are too weak to do that, and 5 mins later the hand automatically  types sorry, putting that ego aside, putting that self-respect aside.
• Rejecting that most favorite ice cream because she loves it too, so letting her have all of it.
• Sitting beside her to stare at the innocence and wish for one look from her, the feeling of utmost restlessness when she is online but not replying, the feeling of knowing you are getting desperate but yet not being able to stop yourself. 
• When that sudden sleeping over chats drives you a hot head, when expectations go to a very high level and  are broken with a very high frequency, when you are hurt like anything but its okay because she said sorry and that's all it takes to not get mad any further.
• When 400 messages from others matter nothing compared to 1 msg from her. 

That's when you know you are taken, that's when you know this time, it's real, that's when you realise what love can make you do, that's when someone who couldn't wait 5 mins no matter what, learns that good things are worth a wait, that's when you realize you could type this long and yet not get over with it, that's when possessiveness comes in, that's when a flirter becomes a one-way lover, that's when you loose control. Those are the lovely phases, that's when the heartbeat races.

It's the bounded room, I am playing in.

It's the open fields, I am dying for.

It's a SPIDER'S web, I've fallen in,

but it's the SPIDER, I've fallen for.